Monthly Archives: April 2013

It’s so stressful……

If it’s not one thing it’s another.

Hardly time to draw breath before the next onslaught. One problem solved (maybe), another arises. You feel backed into a corner, you feel overwhelmed, and you feel so stressed. Stressed Does this sound familiar? Stress or anxiety in some form or another are becoming more commonplace in the daily lives of millions of modern people. We attribute our stress to various types of external conditions and situations, often overwhelmed with an inability to reduce or eliminate it, feeling helpless in the face of adversity. But think again…………….. Continue reading

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How can I love this monster?

“Do I really hate my own child?

What kind of obnoxious person am I, that I could possibly even think this way?”

If your T.T. (troubled teen) is now making an appearance as T.T. (terrifying teen) you may genuinely be living on the edge of your coping skills, verbally abused by somebody who is now taller and stronger than you, and is literally ‘in your face’, pulling themselves up to their full height, puffing out their chest and shouting just 15cm away from your face.

There may even be a threat of physical abuse thrown in for good measure.

Scary Hoodie

For anyone who hasn’t experienced this, it is just as frightening as if a stranger had walked in off the street.

This is a stranger, you don’t know this person anymore, they are an unknown quantity bearing no resemblance to your (ex) fluffy bundle of joy, yet you have to calmly stand your ground and maintain control of the situation. It can be like living with a monster. Continue reading

He did WHAT??! …………………………(Part 2)

Help! I am losing my mind!

This is how we can feel when we have experienced a difficult confrontation with our T.T. (troubled teen) . We are often overwhelmed by our angry mind, totally lose our cool and end up feeling drained, exhausted and are probably left with a thumping headache.

Burnout

When this happens we have usually lost control of the situation and our T.T. knows they have found yet another way to wind us up!

Now in my experience these situations can become quite commonplace in the T.T. years (though you may be lucky and escape them!) so it’s a good idea to get a handle on them as soon as possible for everybody’s sake. By understanding anger and how it arises we can then look at the antidote.

We began in Part 1, (please click here if you missed it) and will now look a little deeper and explore the solution. Continue reading

He did WHAT ??! …………….. ( Part 1)

Phone rings……………………

“Hello this is Secondary High Grammar School here, we just thought we ought to let you know your son / daughter has been …………….”

“Oh No! Surely not, they wouldn’t do that” (would they?)

“Afraid so, they did admit it in the heads office”

The first sign that your cherub may be turning into a troubled teen (T.T.) may be heralded by the start of a series of phone calls from school.
(Of course this may not be the first time, we may have already experienced this in primary school, in which case we are now about to enjoy Series 2, which is likely to have twice as many episodes now hormones have kicked in.)

Shock! Horror! Embarrassment! Shame!

You can hardly believe it. (Sick feeling in stomach). You didn’t bring them up to behave in this way. This bears no relation to the values you taught them. How could they possibly do this?
Just wait until they get through that door tonight…….. Continue reading

Money can’t buy me …………..happiness?

“But I really need that one!”

“This is the only chance I’ll get, I have to go!”

“I can’t possibly manage without….”

Your ex-cherub has hit puberty and demands are increasing. There are things they must have and must do to have any semblance of happiness in their life, or so they would like to make us believe – as they demonstrate their wrath when the desired answer is not forthcoming.

After all, as far as they’re concerned, we brought them into this world, they didn’t ask to be born (haven’t we all heard that one?), so therefore it is our responsibility to provide everything they think they need to be happy. With a spot of emotional blackmail they even have us thinking that we can’t be happy if we’re not successful in making them happy!

But have you noticed, , all the things we provided so far to make them happy, haven’t worked too well, as now they need something else to be happy – so that didn’t last did it?

Messy room

Come to think of it, we’re pretty much the same ourselves aren’t we? Even if we don’t realize it, advertising agencies know it already. They constantly try to sell us happiness in the guise of cars, phones, furniture, washing powder, fizzy drinks, hair dye, face cream, perfume…the list is endless. Continue reading