“Your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey that’s no way to say goodbye”
That time of year is almost upon us. Exam results will soon be arriving and millions of boyfriends, girlfriends, parents and siblings will soon be saying goodbye as young adults leave the nest and set off to distant realms for further education.
For some whose loved ones are leaving this may be a sad and painful time, so how can you prepare in the next couple of months in order to make this a happier event?
Here are some things to consider…………… Continue reading
Love is meant to be a happy thing isn’t it?
Hearts and flowers, hugs and kisses, cuddles and snuggles.
From the flush of first romance to the joy of a snuggling newborn: “love is all you need” .
The Beatles were 100% accurate with that line.
So what about the painful love songs?
‘Tears on my pillow’
‘Nothing compares to you’
‘Heard it on the grapevine’
Why is so much pain involved in something which is meant to be so beautiful? Continue reading
“I’ve done everything possible”
“I’ve done my best”
“It’s still happening”
“I can’t bear anymore”
Do these thoughts sound familiar?
Are you in a situation where you feel paralysed with frustration, a turbulent situation with your troubled teenager (T.T) which seems to be beyond your control? (This can apply equally to any other 24/7 close relationship e.g. partner or dependent relative)
Here’s my advice: go and sit down!
“WHAT?” I hear you say “How will that help?” Continue reading
“This is not who I am
I have become comfortably numb”
Do you ever look at your loved ones and wonder where your warm, loving feelings have gone?
Feel isolated from those once close to you, or suddenly become overwhelmed by a resurgence of the love you once felt for someone but which seemed to have faded recently?
“Love” as we usually define it, can be a fickle thing, bewildering us by its apparently random appearance and disappearance. It is often said that “Love makes the world go round”, and it is certainly the basis on which we build our families and close relationships, so how can it prove so fickle and elusive?
Is there anybody in there”?
Why do we sometimes look at our loved ones and feel (un) comfortably numb? We often appease ourselves with thoughts such as:
“this is just the way it is in ‘real’ life”,
“after all these years……”,
“could be worse..”,
“well after all we’ve been through” ,
“The way they’ve been behaving….
This indicates we are becoming numb to our potential to feel warm and loving more (if not all ) of the time. “This is not who I am”, is the truth of the matter, we are capable of much more. Continue reading
“Do I really hate my own child?
What kind of obnoxious person am I, that I could possibly even think this way?”
If your T.T. (troubled teen) is now making an appearance as T.T. (terrifying teen) you may genuinely be living on the edge of your coping skills, verbally abused by somebody who is now taller and stronger than you, and is literally ‘in your face’, pulling themselves up to their full height, puffing out their chest and shouting just 15cm away from your face.
There may even be a threat of physical abuse thrown in for good measure.
For anyone who hasn’t experienced this, it is just as frightening as if a stranger had walked in off the street.
This is a stranger, you don’t know this person anymore, they are an unknown quantity bearing no resemblance to your (ex) fluffy bundle of joy, yet you have to calmly stand your ground and maintain control of the situation. It can be like living with a monster. Continue reading